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Top 10 Worst Episodes that I've Reviewed in 2016
At the end of every year, I tend to have a little tradition where I name the worst episodes that I've reviewed in the prior year, my favorite reviews of the prior year, and my resolutions for the next year (the latter I only started last year). It's usually "a Top 11", however, as I've said prior, I didn't really take on much of the absolute "worst of the worst" in 2016. Part of it is because that I've tackled most of the worst cartoons that I know about. That's not to say that there are absolutely awful things that I've yet to review, it's just that they're getting more obscure, like Da Boom Crew or harder to find, like Full English, which I think has been so thoroughly erased from the world that I doubt that I'll ever find an episode. Secret Mountain Fort Awesome is another one in that group. If it doesn't have a DVD release, which... as to be expected, most terrible cartoons don't seem to have. But most of the reason is that for most of the year I had been dealing with various personal issues. From medical issues that needed surgery to be resolved to an incessant insomnia to some random Australian company pushing copyright abuse to the extreme by continually flagging a video under made up companies that YouTube themselves wanted to step in. During each of these issues, I obviously didn't want to tackle something like Ren Seeks Help. However, that doesn't mean that I didn't review anything in the "that bad" category in 2016. I did, and we're going to count them down. Now the rules are that I can only include a cartoon episode that I reviewed in 2016. That means anything in between Animated Atrocities #103: Peter-Assment and Animated Atrocities #127: Finally a Lesson is game, with the exceptions of AA#114: Top 20 Worst Cartoon Themes; AA#116: Nurm uf Teh Nurth; AA#120: Dorbees - Making Decisions; AA#121: Shark Tale; or AA#128: Rapsittie Street Kids - Believe in Santa. I am including Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy as a candidate because each of the episodes was less than 3 minutes, and while there are variations of quality, each episode is largely interchangeable. Also, I needed another possible candidate to get to 10. I'm pretty sure people are curious as to where I'd put that anyway. Number 10: Finally a Lesson - Teen Titans Go It's a strange year when Teen Titans Go only gets to the bottom of the list. But looking at things honestly, yeah, I can only really justify putting this episode at number 10. Because the stuff that actually did make this list is still really bad. And this is one of the few things that didn't make me want to blow my brains out. And it's one of those things that I hate more on principle, than actually watching, like the YouTube Copyright School or The Big Fairy Share Scare. Although I could say that about most Teen Titans Go episodes that I've reviewed and that I'm going to review. Teen Titans Go is very good at doing that. Since this review is so recent, I don't know if I have much new to say about it. I mean, I had been planning to review this episode in particular for a very long time. It's one of those things that when I first see it, I know immediately that I gotta make a review out of it. That can sometimes turn out very, very bad, like when I first reviewed Pet Sitter Pat, but when there's actually months between first watching the episode and then releasing it like with this one, then it actually helps a lot. Yes, I planned reviewing this particular episode for months. And can you really blame me? One of the biggest defenses of Teen Titans Go is that it's a kid's show. But with each episode that speaks directly to critics, that's a defense that gets harder and harder to justify. It's really hard to argue that Return of Slade was for the kids. And this episode is even harder to argue that. I do not think that kids would enjoy this episode, because it abandons them to talk to people that kids probably don't even really know about. This episode intentionally goes out of its way to be as boring as possible, and doesn't even try to appeal to kids, even on a pandering level. I said most of what I wanted to say. This episode showcases that the people behind this show don't want to teach lessons in their episodes. The people behind this show have said, on the record in interviews, that they don't think kids shows need to have morals. That's fine. The point of rage though is how many times they've tried to have morals in their show. Even if we ignore any moral that has the slightest possibility to be sarcastic, they've had episodes like Return of Slade, where the moral was meant to be taken seriously on some level, once again on record in interviews. Either teach morals, or hate them. You can't really do both. Number 9: Peter-Assment - Family Guy If there's any episode I didn't know where to put the placement of, it would be this one. Last year, Screams of Silence made my number one because even thinking about it makes me burst a blood vessel. Peter-Assment is nowhere near that bad. On a story level, it's one of the least bad Family Guy episodes that I've reviewed, if not the least bad. That's not exactly a good thing though because the story of this episode is awful. Less awful than say... Herpe, the Love Sore. But still awful, at least the ending. The first half of the episode is set up like it should be. Peter is being sexually harassed by his boss and it's made clear, and no one believes him because of double standards. Okay, so this episode wants to go against double standards, similarly to the South Park episode Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy. Then in the end of the episode, it falls into the very same double standards that it was trying to fight. Angela tries to rape Peter, but because she failed to do that, she ends up trying to kill herself. All of sudden, we're supposed to feel sorry for her. And in-story at least, it's supposed to be okay that she continually sexually harassed and even tried to rape Peter because she was lonely. It's like a single mistake, and two thirds of this episode happens with only minor gripes - like the television thing. But that single mistake is one of the worst single mistakes that I've ever come across. It makes the rest of the story horribly confusing, at best. And reprehensible at worst. It only needed a rewrite, but it desperately needed that rewrite. It's like you're delivering cookies to your friend, but the cookies accidentally happen to be a hand grenade. Just... a little mistake, you know? To add to that, I think that the actual message done right, is something that is needed. And it was even more needed when this episode first came out, back in 2010. It's still not a problem that people take seriously. It's those temptations that do make me want to put it higher on the list, but... so close. Just no cigar. Number 8: Mindless Fun - Kung Fu Dino Posse '''If you want to know why my top worst 90's cartoon list is taking forever, this cartoon is one of the reasons. You see, if I made my Top 10 Worst Cartoons of the 2000's list today, this would have been tied with Pixel Pinkie at number 3. Because, they're largely the same show. This was a badly made cash in on a property that has long been out of popularity. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were mostly popular in the 80's, and the most recent cartoon (when KFDP came out) was in 2003. Kung Fu Dino Posse came out in 2009. I mean, there are some differences, but they only make them comparison more apt. Kung Fu Dino Posse has decent character designs... toyetic, if I may call them. Pixel Pinkie's designs were... not good. Pixel Pinkie did have... at least more fluid animation. It didn't look choppy. Kung Fu Dino Posse's theme song is absolutely horrendous. Pixel Pinkie actually has a good theme song. Probably "the worst cartoon with the best theme song" I don't remember much about the specifics of this episode. Either that or I've blocked most of the awfulness out of my mind. It was just a mindless amalgamation of horrible, really. I mean, the first thing the wikipedia page says about this show is that it's a "Canadian-South Korean-Singaporean-German" animated television show. You know, I have a feeling that it's the also the first "Canadian-South Korean-Singaporean-German" animated television show in history. There must have been a lot of miscommunication, because you can really feel it watching the show. '''Number 7: Droppin' Da Bomb - Da Boom Crew Speaking of my Top 10 Worst Cartoons of the 2000's ''list, I'm pretty sure that most people figured that this would make my list. This show has fairly decent animation. Perhaps the best out of every show on that list. I want to say that first because literally nothing else about this show works. The premise/setting: Four kids design a video game. They get sucked into said video game. In the video game that they designed and programmed, they don't understand where anything is and are constantly surprised by everything. Even if you've never played a video game before, you've got to understand that that's just... really, really stupid. And if you've never played a video game before, perhaps you shouldn't be making a cartoon that takes place inside a video game. It's just a theory. The character models: Pretty much exactly ripped from ''The Proud Family. ''Villain kind of even looks like Oscar Proud. The characters themselves: Three black stereotypes team up with a nerd stereotype to fight a villain stereotype. The dialogue: Literally the worst that I've seen in any show. The language is so bad, that you might be forgiven for thinking that this show was made by some of the aliens that it features. Even the cowardly French stereotype alien... from outer space. This show is really, really stupid. The purpose of language is communication. And in a television show, the language is supposed to communicate things to the audience too. '''Number 6: Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy' This was like watching every Family Guy ''episode that I had already reviewed and every episode that I had have yet to review. (Yes, there are more ''Family Guy episodes I'm going to review in the future). Even in 2016, I don't think that Family Guy's cutaway gags are as bad as the cutaway gags featured here. This review was one of my more controversial reviews. I mean, many of my angrier reviews tend to be. But I did get... a little bit more vicious than I usually allow myself to be. You know, during things like Four Years of Entourage in Ten Seconds or Two Ducks Watch Meet the Parents or Things You Never Hear. What I tried to do was answer "Take that's" with "take that's." Because, just saying something sucks with was the entirety of those shorts is not a joke. If the original shorts were funny, what I did should be exactly as funny. "It's funny cuz it's true, right." I don't know if the joke really came through, but after watching "Name that Animal Penis" it's hard to watch the same people talking down other people's work. That was honestly the thing that pissed me off most about this, and it honestly felt really dirty and really low. And yes, there was a competition where people were supposed to dub over one of the shorts. And the winner would be able to buy Seth MacFarlane a burger king meal i.onionstatic.com/avclub/5650/… payload235.cargocollective.com… I don't have anything personally against Seth, but I think it's safe to say that I don't like Seth MacFarlane's brand of humor. Actually, that's not entirely true. He can be funny, but I think that he's one of those guys that needs more network control/supervision. The earlier Family Guy episodes were great, but as more and more freedoms were granted, we hit episodes like Not All Dogs Go to Heaven and we kept digging from there. A similar cause and effect can be seen from Ted 1 and Ted 2. He can be good, but I think if anything, he needs to learn to say no to some of his own ideas. What I got the biggest impression from watching this was that the word "no" was never said. They had a random idea, they turned it into a short, not thinking of the implications or even the possible quality. And then they put them to animation as quickly as possible. It's like they thought "could we have Quentin Tarantino viciously attacking an infant with a katana for a solid minute" instead of "should we have Quentin Tarantino viciously attacking an infant with a katana for a solid minute." The answer to the first question was yes, but the answer to the second question was probably no. Actually, I think that the answer to the first question probably was no too, because this was a series made for YouTube and several of these shorts go against the YouTube terms of service. Number 5: King Star King Pilot This was the show that made me the most uncomfortable all year long. I don't know if there's anything more I can say about this one. If you like grossout, then you'll probably like this because it's one of the most visually disgusting shows that I've ever seen. It's one of the few that gives Mega Babies a run for its money. You could probably defend this as "artistic expression" except that 90% of adult cartoons right now and for ten years have looked roughly like a less intense version of this. I'm getting tired of it. I'd like to think that we've moved beyond this kind of stuff. It's been done to death. You know, I get a lot of requests to review things like Brickleberry. But after Allen Gregory and The Nutshack and King Star King and Mr. Pickles and Adult Party Cartoon and Legends of Chamberlain Heights (I guess), what could I say about that show that I haven't said about any of these? More and more I hate reviewing, most grossout shows, but adult grossout shows especially. They've all got pretty much a universal problem, and it's simple to describe - style over substance. This is what makes South Park ''and ''Ren & Stimpy different. There's something behind the grossout, and a lot of effort. If you took away King Star King's grossout, what would it have? And why watch it something for its grossout when you can get it literally anywhere else? Grossout shows are hard for me to review, without doing some strange experiment, like what I did with the Spit Collector review. I'd review more adult cartoons with both style and substance, but the strange thing is that they tend to be... well, good. Rick and Morty is a master of having both style and substance. And even without seeing it, I know that having both style and substance is why Sausage Party ''had such a popularity this year. '''Number 4: Paddy the Pelican' Would it be egotistical if I said that I could do better than this? I don't really know what else to say about it, because the actual quality is just dumbfounding. This was aired on television, by the way. Back when television animation was new, sure, but... even the cartoons around the time looked much better than this. Well... I guess it depends what you mean by "better" when it comes to things like Clutch Cargo. Things were technically superior to Paddy the Pelican. So, why isn't it number 1? Well, it was only made by one guy and it does have the feeling of being... some kind of passion project, rather than a quick cash in. It was during a time where you almost literally could not make money for television animation. And, unlike the other things on this list, it's so poorly made that it's really... hard to take seriously on its own merits. Like, it's so bad that I can't even take it seriously as something bad. That being said, it is still pretty awful. Number 3: Legends of Chamberlain Heights 'You ever see a show and you just wonder "how the hell did this get on the air?" I'm not even (just) talking about it being horrendous. I am legitimately curious. I know that Comedy Central is... stupid when it comes to their animation, but... how do you see this animation and decide... "YUP! Two seasons right on the spot!" As far as I can tell, it wasn't worth the risk because both critics and audiences seem to be lukewarm to this at best. So, this is another adult cartoon that tries to "push the envelope with grossout and stereotype humor" which is already a strike against it. Another cartoon in an overcrowded genre, on a television network that's more overcrowded with them than any other. It differentiates itself with... unique animation that makes you go "why the fuck am I even trying to learn how to draw" People say that adults don't tend to take animation as seriously because they have a hard time taking drawings more seriously. Um... I... ''Legends of Chamberlain Heights. Am I wrong in thinking that it shouldn't be this hard to make an adult cartoon good? The humor is stale and stupid. The characters are stale and stupid. The stories are stale and stupid. If the animation is due to incompetence... there's not much I can say, except... "git gud." However, it's probably stylistic suck... by people who don't know how to use stylistic suck. Drawing things in a sucky way is supposed to enhance a certain aspect of the show. Stickin' Around's characters look like stick figures, but it enhances the style of being a show that's supposed to look like it was made by kids. I mean, maybe the idea is that the main characters don't put any effort into their work so they shouldn't put any effort into their cartoon, but it really doesn't make the product better in any way. Every year that I've done these reviews, there's a new cartoon that I think is going to be the worst that's coming out and things can't dig any deeper. In 2013 had Teen Titans Go. 2014 had Breadwinners. ''2015 had ''Mr. Pickles, and 2016 had Legends of Chamberlain Heights. I don't know if this show is worse than Mr. Pickles. Mr Pickles had a lot of effort put into being as horrendous as possible, while Legends of Chamberlain Heights feels like it's completely devoid of effort. Usually, the "effort as being as horrendous as possible" takes it, but I dunno. It's going to be some stiff competition when we get to my Top 10 Worst Cartoons of the 2010's. Spoilers, this show is probably going to be in the top 3. '''Number 2: Newborn Cooties 2/So Many Ways to Play While slightly better than Over Two Rainbows, I still hate everything about this. I hate the fact that this was even made. Let me put that in perspective. Anything else on this list, if the people had more effort or more skill, or better control, could have turned out good. If different choices were made, Cavalcade of Comedy ''could have been better. If the guy had more skill, ''Paddy the Pelican could have been good. With more effort, Kung Fu Dino Posse could have been good. This could have never been good. It wasn't designed to be''good. This was designed to scam kids out of their parents' money because Hasbro had run out of money from Generation 3 and G4 wasn't there yet. The two G3.5 episodes came out in ''2009. And yes, 2009 is one of the worst years in non-cinematic television history. If it wasn't for movies like Up or Coraline or The Fantastic Mr. Fox, not just good, but amazing films, then 2009 might be the worst year in animation history. Paddy the Pelican was made by one guy, but this (I assume) was made by some manner of professionals. While I didn't get as angry as I did in the Over Two Rainbows review, I still hate it on the exact same principals. You don't want to make animation, then just don't. When you watch these pandering things, you keep constantly getting the feeling... that no one really wants to be here. And that, if anything, kills projects most often. 'Number 1: Duck Karma - The Nutshack '''Yup, number 1. It's the Nutshack. Once again, I don't even know what else to say. It's a show that I just... felt horrible while watching. Kind of like watching one of those videos featuring car crashes that they make you watch during driver's ed classes. Half of this episode is about people eating bird shit. There isn't much I can say about this, except pure unadulterated angrish. Last year, when I reviewed Space Circus, I thought that Hairy Scary would have the voice that haunted me the most from now on. Then I heard Horat. My god. Horat. Sounds like they threw a metal spoon in a blender and let it tumble in a dryer. But it's not like anyone else has a decent voice. Phil's voice bothered me a lot because of how incredibly nasally it was. And Jack's voice bothered me a lot because of how everything sounded like a sarcastic question. All three of the main characters have awful voices. Every second managed to find a new way to stoop to a new low. The first episode was largely incompetent, but then with each new episode they managed to dig lower and lower. From literally animating a pile of shit to offensive lessons about plastic surgery to this episode. I couldn't take it anymore. When things get exceptionally bad, or I'm reviewing a movie, I tend to take breaks while reviewing them. For this one, I strongly considered just stopping and never touching this show again and just cancelling the review of it. The Nutshack is ''that bad. It's something that, even during the worst of the worst, I've never considered doing it before. If I didn't hire an editor, that might have actually happened because that's how tedious this show is. Category:Top Tens